Reports recently leaked from the Federal Bureau of Investigation citing an incident that occurred today at the White House. Apparently an April Fool’s virus only known as the “joker” has taken over all intellectual property contained within the confines of the presidential residence. NBC’s White House Chief Correspondent, Chuck Todd, uncovered the information and brought the story to light early this morning. Mr. Todd states, “I really have never encountered a virus as complicated as the “joker”. I feel really honored to be the first person to bring this story to the people of our nation. Most of my correspondence is rather dull and for the first time I really feel like I am providing a service to all my dedicated followers by blowing the lid on the “joker” virus”. Mr. Todd then begin to ramble on about his latest press conference with President Obama and asked if the reporters from SmartSecurityPeople.com saw him ask his question on national television. To which we replied, yes but only because American Idol was bumped out of it’s time slot and our TIVO thought it was recording the sultry voice of Lil Rounds. Finding that Mr. Todd was no longer able to focus on the “joker” virus topic, we quickly moved our inquiry onto Press Secretary Robert Gibbs.

Robert Gibbs was a welcome relief after our jaunt with Chuck Todd. Mr. Gibbs was much more on task and prepared for our every question. We asked him about the recent virus attack on the White House and he quickly acknowledged it by stating,”we are aware of the virus and every precaution necessary is being taken to keep it at bey”. Mr. Gibbs continued to state that containment of the virus has been quite challenging because it has managed to find a way to infect the majority of the White House campus and it’s staffers. We at SmartSecurityPeople.com were quite shocked that Mr. Gibbs was answering our questions so freely and without reservation. For once we felt like we were getting an honest answer to an honest question. Much unlike the press briefings that we experience on a regular basis. With this great feeling of open dialogue and unfiltered communication we decided to delve further into our virus inquiry and see what additional information we could get from Mr. Gibbs. We asked Mr. Gibbs what type of technology or security approaches they were taking to attack the virus. He quickly responded by stating that no technology has been implemented to rid the White House of the virus. He said that science was on their side with this virus and that he anticipates it to be fully eradicated within the next 10 days. Being quite puzzled we asked how science would be playing a role with the elimination of the “joker” virus? Mr. Gibbs then looked at us and made a face that we have never seen before (at least not on public television). Mr. Gibbs then exclaimed, “Young Men, I have absolutely nothing to report on the alleged “joker” virus. At this time we can not confirm or deny it’s existence. However, if you would like to continue our conversation about the Rhino-virus infecting the nasal cavities of our staff, I will be more than glad to direct you to our chief of medicine”. With that he gives us a nod of the head, briskly turned around and exited down a winding hallway.  Apparently, as new reporters, it WAS our fault and probably a rookie mistake since we did not make mention of the type of virus we were asking about from the beginning.

Eager to cover this story on the “joker” virus, we continued on our quest to find the truth regarding its whereabouts and the havoc it was causing at the White House. At this point we were desperate. We were walking the halls of the White House aimlessly looking for a source. Well… not so aimlessly, since we don’t have official press passes, we were taking the 9:00am White House tour given by an intern. She was doing a fine job and really did not seem to mind when we would stop people along the halls to inquire about the “joker” virus. Our tour was coming to an end as we were heading down a long stretch of hall and we could see the climax of our tour right in front of us. There it was.. the Oval Office. As we neared the Oval Office, we could not believe our eyes when we saw President Barack Obama. There he was… “the man” leaving the Oval Office. If anyone would know about the “joker” virus, surely it would be him. We quickly but without drawing attention to ourselves speed up the pace of our tour group and moved them in the direction of the president. When we reached the point of being within earshot of the president we quickly interjected and said “Mr. President..Mr. President… Can we have a question please?” Surprisingly Barack Obama obliged and said not a problem but make it quick fellas because I am on my way to meet the Secretary of State for an important briefing on Mexico. Not wanting to waste his time we quickly asked him about his knowledge of the “joker” virus and the impact it is having on the White House. President Obama quickly replied and said, “oh yes, that virus has been wrecking havoc for a couple of weeks now. I even got caught up with it a few days ago. I didn’t know what type of virus it was but it is certainly no laughing matter and dubbing it the “joker” virus seems to be making light of a serious situation. I have been taking an antibiotic ever since and I am only recently starting to feel like myself again.” Barack then shuttled off to his next meeting. We quickly knew that the president was not talking about the same virus that we were referring to but then again maybe Chuck Todd as NBC’s White House Chief Correspondent had led us astray from the beginning. I guess we will never know the real story about the “joker” virus.

Happy April Fool’s Day to our readers at SmartSecurityPeople.com.