Using a common research study in an unprecedented way, Geography Professors at UCLA have pinpointed Osama’s whereabouts. They state that he is located in the city of Parachinar in Kurram, Pakistan. Now before you get excited and think that this means the end of Osama Bin Laden, you have to first understand the basis of the research methodology utilized to make this great “discovery”.

Professors Thomas Gillespie & John Agnew, relying upon scientific theories to track the migration and distribution patterns of animals coupled with satellite imagery believe that their hypothesis regarding Bin Ladens location to be substantiated and backed by science. Using distance decay theory to predict movement from his last know location in Afghanistan to possible other locations, they were led to Parachinar through an extensive process of elimination. They have even narrowed it down to the type of building that he would be more than likely to be using for hiding. They predicted that the building would have less than three rooms(he prefers a small group of body guards) and tree coverage to limit aerial views (you know.. avoiding spy satellites and drone planes). Using this criteria, there are only three buildings in Parachinar that qualify.

So what now.. send in the reinforcements right? Well..uh.. no. The CIA has been consulted and an official states that he has not seen the report drafted by the Professors but he would recommend that anyone “take it with a huge grain of salt”.

Given that the U.S. lost track of Osama Bin Laden during the winter following the September 11th attacks when he left his safe haven of Tora Bora, you would think that Intelligence Agencies would take more interest in the research findings of these two Geography Professors. But without additional substantiation, I guess their hypothesis will stand alone as just a theory. Unless of course, the Professors want to take a sabbatical and make a quick trip to Pakistan…???